Me

I feel fat and not average, I want to have a bf/gf but I feel like no one wants me as I am, I had too many friends and they ignored me since I get fat, im trying to get motivation to love myself and start a new journey, I don’t want to just please my parents but myself, is 185 lb big? Well for me and everybody is , my family want me to get good grades but also miss school to go with them somewhere, so wich one you want me to do, I’m scared of my parents, in 2 years I may be able to get out of this dark place