Love

I love a new guy every week and it makes me upset. The guy I like I've only liked for a week. Then when they do something wrong I ditch them. My dad died about a year ago and I think the response to that is liking a new person every week cause of daddy issues. He died of alcoholism and nicotine. It makes me sad, I wanna be the last thing someone thinks of at night and the first thing they think of in the morning. However I dated a girl while he was alive and I got sexually assaulted by her twice (more times). My dad didn't realize this was happening and I didn't tell him. I now am trying to decide if I'm straight or bisexual. My birthday is in two days and I don't know what to do. I wanted a boyfriend by my birthday. Im that desperate.