top of page


my senior year of high school I had a close group of friends. me and 3 girlfriends and 4 guy friends. for the new year we went to one of our houses on a lake. we got very drunk all of us and I come out of my shell when I’m drunk. I got to the point where I was blackout. I can only remember bits and pieces. I do remember being tired of not having a guys attention in a while. I ended up making out apparently with one of my guy friends who was a complicated ex of one my girlfriends. Another of our friends walked in on before anything “serious” happened. I remember crying afterwards and my friend being mad. The rest of the weekend was awful. It was the first time I blacked out and was hungover. I didn’t know what we did or what I did and how it happened. I’ve never felt any attraction to the guy friend before and never will. He said he was drunk but everyone else there said he was barely tipsy and was behaving normally. I wasn’t. I hated myself for what I did and then word got around school and the word slut got thrown around. That night I self harmed and thought about suicide. I cried for a long time. It eventually went away after a few months and this guy friend and my friend group said just forget about it, it was nothing it’s in the past. My friend said to just forget about it to do if she forgave me than I don’t want to bring it up. I still think sometimes what exactly happened. I know he was not drunk he barely had two drinks. Everybody had told me it wasn’t SA because I was acting like I wanted it before, that’s what my two other guy friends told me. I’m just confused and think about it sometimes.


Recent Posts

See All


Hey, so lately i’ve been feeling down and I realized my depression is back. I’m less active, losing my appetite, less motivated, having suicidal thoughts and this isn’t new for me I have had 2 failed

Trying to understand experiences from the past

I want to know what you think about this.... When i was younger in the 6th grade was listening to my teacher's lecture, i remember writing in my notebook word for word when suddenly without warning my

I hate my grades why can't i understand lessons quicky?

It hurts so much, I just can't believe it it doesn't matter what i do i always mess up! I hate myself so much, i can't believe it a whole semester of work and it's gonna go down the drain because of a


bottom of page