feelings

sigh I just wanna break with all the emotions I go through like some day's I'm happy the next I'm just sad and want to be left alone and just wanna isolate myself but its like I wanna get better and I want and need the help but I don't wanna be a burden to anyone I also feel like no one understands me like yes the people who try to help me went through something in the past but that doesn't mean you understand what I've been going through mostly my whole life like I'm grateful they wanna help me but do

You really understand me and understand what I'm going through? like if you don't its okay but atleast just tell me instead of staying silent and saying you'll be there for me im so over this like the only one who understood what I was going through was my ex-best friend but she ended up dating the bully so I don't even have her anymore I'm all alone in this and it hurts sooo much