one of them

my teacher has been accused of sexually assaulting female students. i was in his architecture class. i was the only girl. i’ve never had any inappropriate reactions with him. but being the only girl in the class full of guys who were outwardly rude and disgusting made me a bit more drawn to the teacher. he must’ve been annoyed as well. it’s disappointing to know that the only person i trusted to be “safe” in that environment was one of them, one of the worst, possibly the worst. it’s hard to tell myself not to contemplate the “what if”s. i am grateful for my safety. but i grieve for the pain he’s inflicted on my friends.