I think I was about 6 or 7 when I first tried to kill myself ...
I don't remember the tipping point, the straw that broke the camels back what made me dread the next 11 years
honestly,
I thought the kiddy end of the pool would do it or safety scissors to my chest, which I never pushed through or I hoped that the ink from a pen would be poisonous and kill me quickly...
after that when down my system I remember simple fear and dread
waiting to die