Seeing My Writing

First time - but I think it would be interesting to see in full writing. When upset, I learned to write, but to hide what I write - writing on paper with pen but writing each word on top of the other so no one, not even I, could tell what it said after I wrote. I got to be honest today and say what I was feeling about something that made me uncomfortable and although I don't know that I was heard in the right way, I was at least heard. I have been so emotionally shut down that I have yet to cry, despite it all. But I do feel like I'm starting to be open to feel. It will get better.