To all the teens reading this:
The truth is i think about you all the time. All day. Every day. I think about your pain, your stories, and where you slept last night. Were you warm enough? Safe enough? Did you bring your narcan kit with you when you went out? Did you think happy thoughts or cry yourself to sleep and feel all alone in this world, worrying about problems that were never meant to be yours?
Sometimes I go home after work and curl up in a ball and cry. I truly do. Seeing you hurts me. But not seeing you hurts me even more. Because your pain is my pain. Because your tears are my tears. And i think about you all the time. Because life isn't fair. Because you didn't deserve what happened to you. Because I want to save you... but I can't.
So I do everything I can to support you and your family and show you the skills you need to save yourself instead. I try my best.
Will you save yourself? Will you wake up and look in the mirror and say 'I am enough'? And go to school even though your hair isnt perfect, and your failing school, and your best friend is flirting with your partner?
Will you see me even when its hard?
You think no one cares. I'm sure it feels that way. But trust me- I care. I go home and think about everything you said, wondering how and what I can do to make your life better. I buy books. Text books. Books about Reputation so i can help you figure out how to save yours in school. Books about eating healthy so i can talk to you about nutrition because eating right stabilizes your mood.
The truth is I'm sad. I'm heartbroken. And I want to give you a big hug. Sometimes i dream about adopting you so i can keep you safe and show you what a healthy attachment to an adult looks like.
But I can't. So I go home and cry for you. And for all the injustices in the world. And I do what I can, when I can to make a difference so that you can thrive.
Of all the things I said just now, this is the most important:
I care about you so much. You are a light in this world. You are a light in my world. Please don't give up.
I'd be devastated if you killed yourself.
The truth is- I am thinking about you always. And I look forward to our talks every week.
Will you try to keep going one more time... for me?
Love: your counselor