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You DO matter. And it is OK to feel this upset

I was also a very confused teen. I attracted attention from guys and I kind of liked it, but I also did not know what they were capable of doing. You can't know what you don't know! I'm a girl, they are guys and I really had no clue. To keep my story short, I want to tell you something I have learned: 'growth is painful'. When you look around your life and there is pain all around, you are probably growing! Think about trying to do something new like learning Chemistry. It is hard and it sucks sometimes! You are growing into an adult so fast, and that growth is also painful. It is OK to feel upset right now. When you do something new, you have no experience and right now everything is new! Be kind to yourself for your mistakes. I always hated when adults would talk but not give me any real truth that would help me.

Some helpful truths: If ANY adult man makes sexual advances on you. He is wrong! It doesn't matter if he is your Dad's friend or a teacher. Don't even doubt yourself for liking the attention at first. That is ok. Don't worry whether it will cause a problem if you say something. . This IS the truth - other adults will back you up with this one.

Guys are idiots too! Just because he does something that shocks you, don't think you have been grievously molested. This statement is hard to make. You have to know the person you are hooking up with enough to know if he is inexperienced or just bad. If he is bad, leave and don't look back. Sex should always be mutual and caring. If it is violent and unpleasant, you have nothing to be sorry about. Not your cup of tea-moving on! You have nothing to explain. I hope this helps someone out there. Life is pretty awesome once you make it through the rough years of growing up.

It is hard to think of anything besides appearances, and boys, and if you are fitting in, but give yourself a break every now and then and force yourself to not think about those things. bc it is exhausting. Here's a trick: If you want to stop thinking about things, start doing something engaging and talk at the same time. Play with a pet or a sibling. Cook and talk to a relative. Or even clean and sing. It will make you get out of your head for a little while. You DO matter, and this is a growth phase that will get better. Remember the guys are growing too. They don't know everything. Teach them how to be kind to you. I went through it hard. I have great empathy for you who are sharing your stories and I believe each one. I have my own too. The truth is there isn't a magic solution, but it doesn't last forever either.


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