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I just miss him, I miss my damn life

I miss my friend. He was there for me when I was lonely in grade seven, we were outcasts we clicked. But of course my mental health had to get bad. I avoided everyone, social anxiety and all. I got depressed, I went to an alternative school. I felt better.

Now it’s highschool, and I don’t know if I can keep up anymore. I keep avoiding him because I don’t want to hurt him time and time because of my wellbeing.

It’s weird between us now. I miss him. My other friends have left me because of how I am and I don’t really talk to some of them. The friend I talk to, I love her but I miss him.

I miss the way we laughed at dumb little things. I miss the ways we felt like the only ones on earth. I miss not feeling too different cause he just gets it. I miss hugging him on rare occasions and not feeling bad about it.

I miss his smile and his laughter. I miss his company and support. I miss his presence. I miss him coming up to me and nudging me and laughing at my reaction.

If you ever read this, can we go back to just talking? Can we find another huge bag of books and sit in it and laugh at the book tittles? Can we just hang out? I’m so sorry, I just didn’t want to hurt you but I think the damage is done.

I hope you live a good life if we officially lose contact after school. I miss you F, I really do. I wish I was okay again and we can be the best friends.


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