Please

Hi , i don’t really understand myself but I do understand that I’m not ok and I normally just keep to myself because I was taught that my feelings don’t matter so I just keep them in but then again I probably shouldn’t and people found out that I’m a people pleasing person and that it’s hard for me to say no so my ex tried using it against me and I said no and he dumped me for it so I’m kinda just done with everything and i just can’t deal with anything anymore I’m emotionally numb and and my parents won’t listen to me it’s getting too the point were I’m just gonna commit I swear if one more person says something straight up retarded I’m going to lock myself in my room and just give up.