my confusing depression

i dont know sometimes i feel just alone and unhappy and i just fell unwanted and neglected and when i try talking to people about it i get brushed off and my parents even think im faking it for attention.. why would i fake something like this for attention if i could id never feel this way ever again in my life i hate always felling like this and im being forced to hide it cause when i let it show “im always bringing the mood or vide down with negative energy” or like my parents call me a “debbie downer” but what hurts me most is that my mom compares me to her abt it shes always saying how she had reasons to selfharm and its like i cant even tell i do it anymore i cry zone out and i have cuts on my body and them i cry cause i dont want to feel that way i dont know what to do anymore..